This episode is defined not by what happened in particular in this episode, but by our knowledge of where Jimmy winds up.
It is such a perfect mirror of life. We makes choices every day - some are intentional, some are not. In reality, a series of small, minuscule decisions can lead us down a path. Most of the time, we don't even realize what path we are on. Only in hindsight does it all become clear where it began, where it all started to go wrong ...
Jimmy doesn't want to join the big law firm. To him it represents suffocation - a mind-numbing career path he only chose to please his under-appreciating brother. Jimmy likes the flash and adrenaline of the con -- he wants to feel alive in the moment. A lawyer is the opposite, lost in paper work, appeals, and documents.
But he loves the girl. He WANTS the girl. The real question for Jimmy is, what is he willing to give up to get her? Is he replacing his need to please his brother with his desire to please the girl? He questions whether this is even just a fantasy. It was a beautiful scene when Jimmy asks Kim what it will mean if he takes the job. Her inability to answer him, her hesitation, her fumbling for the right way to let him down ... it answered his question and you could sense one more small step down a dark path of Jimmy becoming Saul.
I love the part at the end, where Jimmy HAS to flip the switch - he just HAS to know what it does. He wants the thrill -- to push the envelope. Jimmy has the itch to do something bad/risky. It is so different from where the episode started. He now knows what flipping the switch can cost. In the end, it's just not worth it. He wants to open the door, he knows nothing is probably going to happen, but now, life has taught him something could. Opening that door is such a small thing, but it starts the path. Maybe the cops come, maybe they don't. Maybe they identify him, maybe they don't. Maybe one of his criminal clients find him because of it. Maybe then he has to make more bad decisions just to stay alive or out of jail. So our fallen hero does nothing. He stops himself before that one, small decision necessitates many more bad ones. Jimmy is defeated on that box. A visible light in him extinguished. The part of Jimmy that made him Jimmy was crushed by the weight of thousands of poor decisions. This child was burned by his own flame. Like any great tragedy, the sadness and despair rampant in this lost life is palpable. Jimmy scrapping S G was here was a man grasping at a past he aches for. A tombstone to who he was -- a memorial to a person he clearly misses.
It is such a perfect mirror of life. We makes choices every day - some are intentional, some are not. In reality, a series of small, minuscule decisions can lead us down a path. Most of the time, we don't even realize what path we are on. Only in hindsight does it all become clear where it began, where it all started to go wrong ...
Jimmy doesn't want to join the big law firm. To him it represents suffocation - a mind-numbing career path he only chose to please his under-appreciating brother. Jimmy likes the flash and adrenaline of the con -- he wants to feel alive in the moment. A lawyer is the opposite, lost in paper work, appeals, and documents.
But he loves the girl. He WANTS the girl. The real question for Jimmy is, what is he willing to give up to get her? Is he replacing his need to please his brother with his desire to please the girl? He questions whether this is even just a fantasy. It was a beautiful scene when Jimmy asks Kim what it will mean if he takes the job. Her inability to answer him, her hesitation, her fumbling for the right way to let him down ... it answered his question and you could sense one more small step down a dark path of Jimmy becoming Saul.
I love the part at the end, where Jimmy HAS to flip the switch - he just HAS to know what it does. He wants the thrill -- to push the envelope. Jimmy has the itch to do something bad/risky. It is so different from where the episode started. He now knows what flipping the switch can cost. In the end, it's just not worth it. He wants to open the door, he knows nothing is probably going to happen, but now, life has taught him something could. Opening that door is such a small thing, but it starts the path. Maybe the cops come, maybe they don't. Maybe they identify him, maybe they don't. Maybe one of his criminal clients find him because of it. Maybe then he has to make more bad decisions just to stay alive or out of jail. So our fallen hero does nothing. He stops himself before that one, small decision necessitates many more bad ones. Jimmy is defeated on that box. A visible light in him extinguished. The part of Jimmy that made him Jimmy was crushed by the weight of thousands of poor decisions. This child was burned by his own flame. Like any great tragedy, the sadness and despair rampant in this lost life is palpable. Jimmy scrapping S G was here was a man grasping at a past he aches for. A tombstone to who he was -- a memorial to a person he clearly misses.
Until next time!
** If you would like to read my other blogs, please find them at:
http://www.madelinefresco.com
http://www.ihatemyback.com.
**** Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Diego. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook at http://www.madelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third book ANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com
** If you would like to read my other blogs, please find them at:
http://www.madelinefresco.com
http://www.ihatemyback.com.
**** Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Diego. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook at http://www.madelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third book ANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com